Love, Hate and sundry matters!

Is it too much to ask for some effort/understanding/sensitivity? I don't know who's at fault here...I just want people to look beyond the prickly obvious and understand the fear behind it. The fear of being hurt, betrayed, used...its overwhelming..especially in the face of uncertainty. Why shouldn't I question the intent at this stage- isn't it the obvious conclusion to make when making any effort appears so difficult for the other party? Across a distance, what else is the comfort or reassurance one draws other than the obvious gestures?
Don't they realize that the only way to protect myself is to be matter-of-fact and not let the turmoil and attachment escape and give me away? To let my emotions pour out would be giving them too much control on me - it would be apparent just how far gone I am, and the dependence would become too obvious...the other person would get to know of it and use it to their benefit...not a good situation, especially when there is a possibility that the other person could very soon come and tell you "...i don't think this is working...long distance...am seeing another person.." meaning "crumple and dump!".
What do i expect - i don't know. Am naturally distrustful of the situation, so nothing other than the extremely obviously romantic gestures will do - romantic being defined my way...not the conventional. Would I do something like this? Oh yes! I'd do a lot of these things - however difficult it might be to implement them. Not doing it in the name of practicality, seems like taking the easy way out. Even if it means taking the early morning, late night flights to be with that person, I'd do that...even it it meant manipulating meetings to suit this schedule, I'd do that...even if it meant taking calls from the boss in less than ideal circumstances, I'd do that. But, alas, thats me! Why can't somebody do these things for me?!!! :-(